Wedding or Elope?

Since I was a little girl, I had that typical princess dream almost every girl wants when they grow up.  To find their prince and have that huge wedding.  Maybe that was just my dream but moving on.

I found the prince (well let's just say he is) and he seems to be everything you need in life.  Sarcasm, Humor, Natural Dumbness & Completely a Loving Moron  (Honey I mean this with so much love, believe me)

I found the kind of venues and decorations, and basically the dream I wanted since forever.  They always say, its cheaper to dream and maybe I should have just stuck with that.

Now getting the prince to finally agree to marry in a big wedding has taken some time, why I do not know because I would like to consider myself a fabulous catch who deserves the biggest ball but apparently that might just be all in my mind.  So now that we are on the same page...it's time to get the ideas and plan.

And now I am wondering, why exactly they say dreaming doesn't cost you a thing, so dream away.  When you finally start putting together numbers, you reali'ze, hey I can do that and that doesn't seem so bad.  It's when you finally add them all together that the big "F" word hits you right in the face.  What's even better is planning a huge party when YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB!  Nevertheless, this wedding will proceed, even if I must be in debt for years to come, I want my special day.  I'm going to regret it I know it, but you only live life once.

Oh did I mention I have one of the most unique romantic men in my life, who really does pick a verbal engagement and a wedding date before ever giving you a ring.  This is some Mr. Big in Sex and the City stuff and we know how that turned out...ummmm.....(silence)....okay...moving on.  

Dress shopping-  Wouldn't you know all the dresses I want and like are 3 grand up!!!  What happened to the $99 dollar sales?!?!  Not even a wedding gown from MOM DAD & ME are $99.  I might need to risk my life and go shop for a wedding dress in Mexico.  I heard they are quite beautiful and cheap, now if you can escape the drug wars, you are on the road to paradise.

Venues-  I found a location, okay I found 5 but who's counting.  They all offer, elegance, delicious meals, a night you won't forget and a sweet price tag.  But with that charming number they throw at you, that doesn't seem to include gratuity or taxes.  (I'm truly excited)

Decorations- Let's just say I have an idea but haven't really looked into them or pricing.

Photographers- Yeah haven't touched that either.

Flowers- Ehhh

Dresses, rings, momentos, cakes- Ummm I tried but got overwhelmed

Church- I have one in mind

Soooooooooo now if I elope, you save on the money and you get a destination wedding out of it.  But you don't have the guests, the big fiesta, the sweet childhood memory you had for years, basically the "I'm the princess and it's a me day" kinda ball.  What to do, what to do, what to do??? 


How about we just start with "Maybe, you think I can possibly have my ring now, please?? Thanks love of my life!"

And for those who know me, they know what idea I am going to run with so this blog was basically pointless!  Well not entirely because I did need to vent.  :)

I didn't realize I hate bees...Until Now

(This is not her lol)

So yesterday, one of my beautiful little puppies, Smoochie, was playing around in a BEDROOM and got stung by a bee. YES, in a bedroom.  Soo all summer, these ridiculous but loving puppies, sat outside and played until their little asses collapsed in exhaustion and somehow managed to not get attacked by mosquitos, bees, spiders, squirells, rats, you get the idea.  Well it is now fall, and just when you think there is not enough excitment in your life, your dog gets stung by a bee IN A BEDROOM!!!  Anyway, of course I thought it was no big deal and at first the puppy seemed totally fine until her face blew up like a Macy's thanksgiving parade balloon and she was balled in a lil corner and shaking.  I knew something was wrong when she wasn't interacting with the other puppies and not even giving her usual smooches when asked.  So of course I googled and have you ever noticed, whenever you are looking for answers to health questions, ITS ALWAYS BAD NEWS that is given on google.  There is never like a subject that says, oh if you see a bump, you will be fine after you ice it.  It's always "You will probably die, go see a doctor"!  After reading nothing but excellent horrible news, I decided to call the vet and well sure, they are not going to tell you to ice her nose and call it a day and insist we bring her in to check her out.  Trust me, if she wasn't sitting there shaking, I would have let her ass be, stinger and all.  So we go to the vet and the usual, small temperature but she is okay, swollen face but two shots will take care of that and in the end....80 DAMN DOLLARS!!!  And I am not working.  None of these other puppies better get stung by anything or they are seriously gonna be shit out of luck...I'm just sayin! 

If you have to get a tattoo....

Please please please don't ever be like this lady in the clip, EVER!!! Please, if you have a phobia of needles, sharp objects, buzzing insturments, then why in hell's boxer shorts would you ever go get a tattoo?!?

Personally, I have never been a fan of tattoos because I tend to change my mind occassionally and I would end being stuck with a piece of trash that I thought looked AWESOME years ago.  I wouldn't even know what kind of tattoo to pick. I also probably never had an urge to get one because my family would probably disown me and believe it or not, I would like to have a place where I can go and eat for free DUH!! 

In the end it's probably best that I stay away from tattoo parlors because after careful examination of viewing this interesting footage, I would most likely end up being like this heffer in the clip.  I will save myself the embarrassment and buy the stick ons if I truly feel like having a piece of art on my body.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLEi4n1pjqI

Don't You Hate When.....

*People say "Hi, How are you" and in reality they truly could not give a gotdamn on what you are yammering about after you have politely answered their question.

*You have set your mind to believing you should have a pretty decent amount of money in your bank account, only to check and find out you have pretty much next to nothing.

*Computers have a mind of their own and always freeze when you are doing something important like certifying  for your unemployment benefits but never fail when you are checking facebook, myspace, or buying on ebay.

*You have spent a pretty good chunk of cash, that you barely have, to get your electronics working again, only for them to run worse than before you had it supposedly "Fixed".

*Everything breaks down the minute you don't have the money or are out of work, but the day you go back to work, stuff you want to break so you can finally get rid of it, never will!

*You have reached this point where you need to write a blog to express your feelings because everyone around you suddenly has become overnight surgeons and just have to run.  And if you are lucky to have someone to bitch to, they simply nod and are totally tuning you out.  This Is A True Fact (Ahheeem Lori

*Something of yours breaks and you take it to "CERTIFIED TECHNICIANS" who happen to have broken English but that is neither here nor there, and they assure you it will take a week and half to have the item fixed, only to realize your shit has been gone for over a month. So when you call them and say "What the hell is up" they stutter and say, "Wait, what did you bring in and when?".  FAB-U-LOUSSS!

*You have puppies that seem to find an interest in digging holes (that you just filled, mind you) big enough to put a corpse in it.

*You motivate yourself to start working out and actually do pretty well for the first few weeks, then fail miserably shortly after.

*The Car Dealership promises to fix a small unimportant part in your car...the part that controls the airbags...the part that might save your life in case of a bad accident, the part that prevents you from flying out the windshield, It clearly isn't a priority...but this unimportant part has to be ordered and should arrive Monday.  That Monday was back in Late April sometime. And have I heard back from them yet...NO!!! I guess they must be building this special part from scratch!

*You are exactly the same size you were when you used to eat out at various fast food restaurants and constant junk food, and now all you really consume is air.  Someone explain this??

*Someone is supposed to burn a copy of a DVD for you months ago and they finally actually complete the task, BUT SOMEHOW NEVER GET TO MAILING IT!

*Your closet is packed with a bunch of clothes but you still find yourself huffing and puffing on a daily basis, because you don't have anything to wear and you need to go shopping.

*There is a moment of boredom and an urge to redesign your room, and then you realize there really is no where to move around the furniture because either Shit will not fit, will not look right, or the cables for the TV just can't stretch to the other side.  Even More Fabulous

*You buy a bottle of expensive ass Drano to unclog a sink and then get home to find out all you had to do was yank the hair out that was knotted in the pipe. 

*Dropping a brand new phone on the ground is almost just as bad as falling and busting your face.

*No matter how hard you try to be nice, you still want to punch stupid people in the face for even looking your way.  i.e. Gangbangers, Fake Homeless people (a.k.a. SCAM ARTISTS), Haters, etc.

*People make outrageous promises they know they can't possibly keep.  i.e. "I'm going to give you the world."  How in hell can you possibly give that and Who the hell wants this shitty world anyway.

*You get yelled at for planning to attend a birthday party for a family member that happens to take place at a strip club which you had no control over but somehow you are to blame for having no morals and you need to go to confession immediately.  THANKS CHRIS!

And last but not least.....Don't You Hate When:

*Someone cuts you off and has the nerve to roll their window down and bitch at you about learning how to drive!  I don't believe violence is necessary but in those situations...someone hand over a club!!!


 Not too bad for a first blog....I think? I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitress! ;)